smell ya later 2014

Today I was reading an old blog post from last January. Because naturally, on the first day of the year 2015, I was feeling all reminiscent.

 It was more or less hard to read because 2014 didn't deliver on some of the ways I hoped it would. I still struggle with some of the same things and my health status hasn't improved at all. 

But then again, in some ways, it was the best year yet! (I'm actually serious)

I'm pretty sure in 2014, I had more hospital stays than any other year. BUT I also had the longest stretch (from about March to July) of relatively good health....the best I have had in awhile. I lived life as a sorta "normal" human person and it was great. Not being defined by being sick or being known for being sick was really freeing and different for me. Each day not being in the hospital or being held back by my physical body was such a blessing that I can't really describe. 

But that wasn't the only good part of 2014 and it definitely wasn't this "perfect" time that held no struggles just because I felt less "sick". I am incredibly grateful for that time but I also don't want to paint an inaccurate picture or insinuate that if you are healthy, life is dandy. 

Anywho.

In 2014,  I met amazing new people that I am grateful for and can't imagine life without now. God was and always is, so faithful and good to me in this department. He places people in my life that are wonderful to me and change my perspective on all kinds of things. I also have really funny friends. So that is a plus. 

 I discovered new things about older friendships too. We went through tough life things and adjusted to new phases of life that change friendships and test their strength. Not easy, but I believe these tests are teaching me to be a better human and a better friend. I hope so, at least. 

This year I also had the gift of watching my nieces continue to grow into these precious little people with personalities and amazing little hearts. They are both so completely different but so incredible and hilarious. I hope they always know how special they are to me. 

I learned some intense lessons about the reality of life and some not-so-pretty things about myself and my human nature. There were transitions that I did not expect to have to ever make. I had to accept parts of my illness that do affect my every-day life yet also refuse to give in to letting it take over every part of me. I am learning about how to keep this balance every second, of every day. Work in progress. 

I am hoping 2015 brings better health and less stays in a hospital. However, most likely that will always be a part of my life in some way. Not being a Negative Nancy, just a Realistic Rachel. And I am okay with that. Most days. 

I know God has equipped me for this war, even if on most days I feel like I am losing every battle. 2015 will be a year with highs and lows, like every year. It won't be perfect but it will be a journey with a lot of beauty, blessings, tears, laughter, troubles, and triumph. Looking forward, not back and expecting a new, exciting and interesting year. Smell ya later, 2014.

Here we come 2015, ready or not! 

living abundantly, 

dana